Full Circle | Friday, August 1 2025

It's now been one year since I kept this journal. Which I think makes it one of my longest running journals, even though I've definitely skipped several days. I like journaling. Doing it on this website let me express journals in a more creative way.

I don't really have a lot more to say about today. Did you know the Sims 2 has a buttload of features? It's kind of wild. I didn't know pets could get jobs. There's like secrets you can find in vacation destinations. I'm pretty sure you can build an entire vacation destination from scratch if you wanted to. Why the hell don't they make games like this anymore???

Dumb Drum | Saturday, August 2 2025

Playing Donkey Kong Bananza made me want to replay the original Donkey Kong Country, so I did. It's a huge comfort game for me, my grandparents had a SNES at their house with this game on it. Playing through it is like being wrapped in a big cozy blanket.

My mom really loves the musical Hamilton and was shocked to hear that I've never seen it. So we watched it together today (on streaming, of course). It's good, not much more I can say that hasn't been said by so many other people. Watching it hurts a bit though, because any pride an American can feel about their country watching it is swiftly diced by the reminder of how abysmal our current government is.

Lowkey Worse Than | Sunday, August 3 2025

Today I saw the new Naked Gun movie. You know what? Surprisingly good. I was chuckling throughout the whole movie, and even had quite a few guffaws. Good movie.

I made 5 sandwiches this evening because I hate making lunches for the next day. This way, I have all my lunches basically ready to go. It's nice to optimize the little chores in your life.

The King is Back | Monday, August 4 2025

The new King of the Hill season came out today and I watched the first couple episodes. It's pretty good. It's fun seeing all these iconic characters again, even if you could wax poetic about this being a pointless rehash. I dunno man, I usually agree but it's nice seeing what Bobby Hill is up to these days.

Still been playing Sims 2. I tried for the first time to actually play a pre-made household. It's fun taking these nightmare households and actually work on helping them get their shit together. Take the Pleasant family in Pleasantview... I made the father NOT sleep with the maid, made the sisters get along, and... well, I got the mom fired by accident but she needed to quit her job anyway if she wants to fulfill her dream of being a criminal mastermind.

Sometimes I think about giving up. What's giving up? Abandoning all hope and dreams. Stop drawing, stop working on self-improvement, and just eat junk food all day and play video games. Quit my job. Stop talking to people. Just fill my days with entertainment until I die. Life is hard and sometimes I think things won't get better. This is an intrusive thought, of course... like when you're driving and your brain tells you to ram someone off the road.

Here's a thought experiment for myself. What if I could abandon my life and live in a bunker? I have all the food and water I could want, a high end PC and entertainment center, a treadmill, and everything else for comfortable living. I could never leave, and I would just eat, sleep, game, and jog on my treadmill so I don't die prematurely. Would I do it? Have every want catered to me? ...Maybe. I'm sure I'd go crazy. Maybe I'd do it for like a month... see how I feel.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | Tuesday, August 19 2025

Whatever. Whatever. Time to get my life back on track. I felt into a bit of a depressive slump again. But I'll crawl back out. These past couple weeks are moot. Good memories in them, but nothing that I can't live without committing to text. I need to get back on my routine. Tomorrow, things will be beter. Tomorrow, life moves on.

Everything is terrible! | Wednesday, August 20 2025

This is such a pedantic thing to say, but it's wild just how much stuff sucks now. AI slop, increasing prices, the government being run by and enabling monsters. And yet I eat and shower and go to work and sleep.

My brain's been fuzzy today. But I had a good, productive day. Got some art done and chatted with friends.

I still feel like I'm on the verge of falling into psychosis. I'm fine though. I think. I think.

Gimme a break | Thursday, August 21 2025

You know what's embarassing? Being an adult and still getting anxious in crowds. I went to a little health fair thing hosted by my company and I had to leave less than 10 minutes in because there was too many people that I didn't know. I was already not really in a good headspace today. I feel like a little kid scared because his mom or dad aren't there. It makes me feel ashamed.

On the plus side, my bi-weekly Abiotic Factor session with friends is always good. That's been a real highlight the last couple weeks. I love my friends.

I get a break | Friday, August 22 2025

It's been an exhausting week. I'm going to relax all weekend.

Lonerism | Saturday, August 23 2025

Having social anxiety is bad enough, not being able to handle crowded places and feel like everyone's either ignoring you or silently judging you. But to also have it in fucking VR chat of all things is a whole new level of embarassing. I'm such a fucking useless piece of shit. I can't even handle a VR meetup without feeling anxious and wanting to leave. What the fuck is wrong with me? Get it together. Stupid fucking piece of shit. You don't get to feel sad about this whole thing, that's embarassing. You're a grown adult, get your shit together. Fucking asshole.

Sick | Sunday, August 24 2025

I feel better now. Still though, last week was very draining, physically and emotionally. Played a lot of VR today. Look, I even visited a famous landmark!