November has come | November 2 2024
I am officially on antidepressants. My doctor wants me to try them for a month and check back in to see if they're working well. If they help, then perfect. If not, I'll probably be referred to a psychiatrist for some more serious care. So this will be an interesting month.I got my flu shot yesterday so I was out of commission all day today. I've been playing Runescape a lot this weekend, and while I've been enjoying it I'm getting pretty overwhelmed by all the stuff in it. I knew the Membership content was huge but there's SO much to keep track of. Hopefully I can just keep a relaxed pace to avoid getting burnt out.
I have a new journal that I'm going to use to write down every single good thing that happened to me that day. Small and temporary joy is still joy regardless. Maybe if I have a tangible list of every little nice thing I experience every day, I can be more grateful for what I have. That now means I have 3 journals: This one, my daily journal, and my happy journal.
That might sound like a lot, but it's not too bad. My daily journal is more doodle-focused, and this journal I only write in whenever I feel like it. My happy journal is all just bullet points. I like journaling. I like doing stuff that's fun to look back on, which is why my daily journal became more doodle-focused.
Maybe I should post some scans at some point? Maybe, I'll think about it.
Daylight Savings | November 4 2024
I kind of like how it gets darker earlier. I love evenings. I don't care if this makes me sound like a huge weeb, but I LOVE listening to Japanese city pop while driving at night. It is the perfect night driving music.Checking In | November 11 2024
The past 7 days have been rough. I don't really need to say what happened in the world of politics that put me in a weird headspace for about a week. I'm trying to shake off the rust from not drawing in a week... if I don't draw for that long it feels like I completely forgot how to even pick up a pen.I don't really know why I'm making an entry. Some good news though, I think my antidepressants are working. I don't really feel sad, just tired. I supposed that's a good thing. I've been feeling surprisingly okay despite how dour the past week has been. That's gotta count for something.
I want to get back to work on this site. It's just been so easy to just lie on the couch and watch American Dad after work. American Dad is hilarious, by the way. I watched a lot of Family Guy earlier this year and that show, while having its moments, is basically slop. American Dad has actual jokes and plots. I'm rambling.
I'm tired. I'm sleepy. I don't really know why I'm making an entry here. I guess it's nice to see my words on the screen. Even if it is nonsensical rambling, I can look at it and try to make sense of it. I should call it here. Leave it right now. Okay.
I hate Thanksgiving | November 25 2024
Okay, this month has been a huge dud. I've just had no energy to work on any creative stuff. In fact, I'm writing this entry to motivate myself to pick up the pen and get some art done.I'm sure it's my body getting used to these new meds. They have helped a bit, but they're not enough to prevent these depressive slumps I sometimes find myself in. Thankfully, I haven't really had any major panic attacks like I did before I started taking meds. So they are helping a bit.
I stopped playing Runescape, it was not helping my depression. I was grinding for mining XP when I had an existential crisis that I was forcing my character into hard labor for hours instead of doing anything else, so I decided to step away from the game. It was a fun revisit, but I think MMOs just aren't my thing.
It's kind of hard to focus on writing. It's 9pm and I already want to go to bed. I've been going to bed earlier since I started taking my meds, which technically is healthy. But my evenings have gotten shorter.
Argh. I shouldn't be writing these so late, I feel like I'm rambling. I'm going to take some sleeping pills and go to bed... I'm sorry to myself a few minutes ago for deciding not to draw tonight. I shouldn't tie my self-worth to my art output... but I've *really* been in a slog these last couple weeks. I'm rambling again.
Let's see... do I have a fun image to include in this entry that'll make me feel better? Let me take a quick peak.
Yeah, this'll do, I think. Okay, tomorrow will be better, I promise. In fact, why don't I make another entry tomorrow? Sounds good. I'll see you tomorrow.
