Wake me up when September ends | September 2 2024
August is over and September is here. Not a lot to say about September... it's a very liminal month; existing only to branch the end of Summer to the start of Fall. That doesn't mean I don't like September, mind you. Fall is my favorite time of the year. For one, the temperatures drop. (well, slightly. I live in Texas) Second, Halloween is around the corner? In fact, this year I'm committing to enjoying Halloween to the fullest.But I'm getting ahead of myself. I had a nice relaxing labor day weekend, and I'm ready to start working hard again on this website and with my art in general. Summer was a bummer, as it has been ever since I got out of school. But I live for the Fall and Winter. So here's to getting dark early and sipping coffee in cool, brisk 78 degree weather. Like I said, I live in Texas. This is like paradise for me.
Rain | September 5 2024
We've been getting some much-needed rain this week. I love the rain. The sound of it, the smell, the dark sky, all of it is some of my favorite things in life.I was driving to work a couple of weeks ago and it was pouring so hard that there was a solid layer of mist above the road. As I listened to the atmospheric DnB playlist I had on, the usual morning work commute changed. The usual buildings I drove past looked different. The way the street lights illuminated against the vapor, it was different. Everything felt different, this was not my normal route.
I pictured myself driving down a city I didn't even live in, one I didn't even know the location of. The rain pouring down just like this morning, unfamiliar buildings and landmarks pass me. I've lived in the same city my whole life. I've never thought about moving... where would I even go? I just like the thought of being somewhere else, just for a short while. The rain gave me that illusion, if only for a brief moment.
This December I'm planning on going to Chicago to visit friends. I hope it rains while I'm there. I would love to see a different city during a storm.
Rain pt. 2 | September 20 2024
It rained again yesterday. While I was driving home from work, the sun was still shining. A large rainbow was in front of me almost the entire way through, like I was driving into it. Then, it started raining.It was a beautiful sight. The visible blue sky still occupying half the skyline, the sun still shining, the rainbow, and the brief pouring rain. I couldn't believe it.
Maybe I shouldn't associate how beautiful a day can be purely by rain. Rain isn't common, especially here in Texas. Can I feel this way during a normal sunny day, or a cloudy one? Can I find beauty in utterly mundane weather?
I suppose it's all situational. Last Summer, I had a nasty ear infection that left me bedridden all weekend. When I felt fine enough to go back to work, it was a beautiful sunny morning. I was listening to my Spotify For You playlist, and Ducky Ducky (Flying Beagle) by Komuchiwa came on. That's a moment I remember. The warmth of the sun on my face and the music and the feeling of finally being outside after being sick for days.
I can't always rely on rain for happiness. I need to appreciate things the way they are sometimes.
September's almost over | September 20 2024
I've been feeling down the last couple of days. It's nothing new... I've just felt overwhelmed.There's so much to do on a daily basis. There's little chores to do, games/shows/music I want to experience, drawings I want to do, recipes I want to cook, projects I want to work on, books I want to read.
Recently I started carrying around a little notebook. When I'm at work, I write down things I want to do when I get home. It's sometimes basic stuff like taking care of laundry, cleaning the cat box etc. I also put in things like starting a sketch on a certain drawing, or check out a game I've been wanting to try. It really helps me to have a list of little things that I can work through; it helps organize my thoughts and prevents me from choice paralysis.
Like most people, I often have dreams about being back at school. I don't think there's much depth to why we dream about that, school is a large part of everyone's lives so it's natural that the subconscious thinks about it often. For me, I wonder if I miss when I had decisions made for me. I miss when my days were divided into periods, where I would eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the same time every day. I didn't have to worry about cooking because my parents did it for me. I didn't have to worry about gas or driving because I was driven everywhere. School sucked, yeah, but it was structured.
I think I'm rambling at this point. I think the notion that "being an adult sucks" is pretty trite, but it's not wrong. I used to play Sonic Adventure 2 and daydream about living in the Hero Garden. Now I just go to work and pay bills and hate myself.
